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Struggling
3 Apr 2021 10:40Tomorrow is Easter.
My MIL has had both her vaccine doses and is just about two weeks past dose #2. My stupid SIL is at least partially vaccinated (she lied), AC caught an expiring dose, so she's vaccinated, at least first dose.
So if I were to have people over (leaving aside the fact that the house is a pit and we'd have to spend today cleaning), the majority of people there who are not in my household will have been vaccinated.
And I'm still freaking out.
What's more.... I don't think I'm freaking out at the possibility of Covid.
I think that after a year of solitude, I'm freaking out at the idea of having people in my space.
Except for once, we haven't had anyone inside in over a year. I mean, people have come inside, but only to get to the deck where was a little socialization (Linnea bday, with friends one day and family another, AC bday, a few music lessons). AC and dipshit were inside for about 15 minutes at Christmas, but we all kept masks on.
It's supposed to be 29F tomorrow morning, warming up to 40s in the day, and rainy. The deck is covered, but this is still not weather when would be ok to entertain outside.
I just don't know what to do. I can rationalize the risks -pretty minimal- and they're not the biggest concern. I just... really don't feel comfortable having people around me, inside.
Next week, dh, Linnea, and I are going to Bend to visit my sister for my mom's birthday (they're all fully vaccinated). I'm not sure I'm comfortable with that either, but it's not my space.
Ugh. I've always had issues with crowds -and yes, at this point, five people is a crowd- and I think this year has made things worse. How much worse remains to be seen.
My MIL has had both her vaccine doses and is just about two weeks past dose #2. My stupid SIL is at least partially vaccinated (she lied), AC caught an expiring dose, so she's vaccinated, at least first dose.
So if I were to have people over (leaving aside the fact that the house is a pit and we'd have to spend today cleaning), the majority of people there who are not in my household will have been vaccinated.
And I'm still freaking out.
What's more.... I don't think I'm freaking out at the possibility of Covid.
I think that after a year of solitude, I'm freaking out at the idea of having people in my space.
Except for once, we haven't had anyone inside in over a year. I mean, people have come inside, but only to get to the deck where was a little socialization (Linnea bday, with friends one day and family another, AC bday, a few music lessons). AC and dipshit were inside for about 15 minutes at Christmas, but we all kept masks on.
It's supposed to be 29F tomorrow morning, warming up to 40s in the day, and rainy. The deck is covered, but this is still not weather when would be ok to entertain outside.
I just don't know what to do. I can rationalize the risks -pretty minimal- and they're not the biggest concern. I just... really don't feel comfortable having people around me, inside.
Next week, dh, Linnea, and I are going to Bend to visit my sister for my mom's birthday (they're all fully vaccinated). I'm not sure I'm comfortable with that either, but it's not my space.
Ugh. I've always had issues with crowds -and yes, at this point, five people is a crowd- and I think this year has made things worse. How much worse remains to be seen.
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