Stumbling Through Adulthood

Considering the colors I had available, I think I did an ok job at a Pride phone screen, LOL.

I lost track of Sunday in this weird week where dh was out at trains Fri-Sat-Mon, and we had visitors on Sat and I picked up Perry at the Amtrak bus and put Linnea on it when it headed back up.

So three things for Tuesday.

1. I know I'm not the only one, but the horror that is Uvalde keeps hitting me at random times. I think of the parents outside, hearing shots, knowing that that one might be their child. The aunts, uncles, grandparents. The terror and rage. It makes me physically ill to think about.

2. Dh got the Prius working again. We don't know what the problem is, so Perry is only driving it around the area, he'll have to take the Pilot when he needs to go up to Bellingham. Trying to buy a piece of diagnostic equipment. First from amazon: came with the wrong batteries, dh tried to install the correct one, the batteries barely fit, and the leads were missing. Returned it and decided to buy a Fluke. Two places confirmed over the phone that they had it in stock... only not when I drove to get one, sigh. Anyhow. We shall see.

3. One of Perry's HS friends (they're a bit younger than he is) has come out as trans, and their mother is apparently flipping out. I was pretty close to the mom and we've been trying to reconnect after a few hectic years for all of us (Perry graduating, my school, Covid etc). I'm... a bit ambivalent. It's difficult because I don't know if the mom is flipping out seriously, or if she's just coming to grips with a new reality and having a bit of a hard time adjusting to it and the kid is interpreting this as non-acceptance. She's a divorced mom with an asshole ex and she's put a lot into creating a new life for her and her (then) two daughters, and they've been an incredibly close knit and mutually supportive family, so I'm hoping it's just the novelty of it (it's been less than a two months) that is creating the friction. I think new pronouns are they/them, and new name is alas nowhere near as cool as deadname (which is gender neutral and really cool) but I really like this kid and I hope things settle with their mom.

I saw this video pretty close to the day it hit the interwebs, and immediately showed it to dh. I showed Perry when he got home the following weekend.

I guess I forgot to show it to Linnea, and today, when someone posted an update about the fundraiser attached to it, I mentioned it to dh and Linnea asked "what?". She hadn't seen it, which was suprising, so she watched, and like everyone else I think, loved it.

I also explained about the fundraiser for It Gets Better Project and I noticed that she didn't seem to grasp the concept.

Further chat revealed that... she had no idea that gay kids were subjected to the amount of abuse that they are, or that families might reject a gay kid or a trans one etc. I mean, she'd heard about it, but thought it was very academic and that kids were rejected by family only in OMG extreme cases. She's grown up in a climate that is much more accepting, and being Linnea, the places she goes on the internet appear to be more accepting that average.

It probably also has something to do with the fact that our very conservative and religious neighbour family have accepted the gay older son (he had two sons from a previous marriage) and his partner (soon to be husband, I think). And the other neighbours have a son who is, I suspect, gender fluid, if not trans, and they've always been very supportive of it (before his mom died, she was great about helping him express his personal choices in clothing, grooming, makeup etc, and his dad is totally supportive).

But yeah, it was interesting. She was, of course, horrified.

Part of it is the LD, part of it is Linnea, part of it is us, but sometimes Linnea seems to to float through the world lacking focus on some things, while being so very aware of others. She notices some things, like poverty and homelessness and understands that they exist. She despises racism and is aware of it, and how pervasive it is. And yet, despite 2 of her friends being gay, and one trans (I think...), she'd never completely understood that coming out to family could be a family life ending event.

Right now, I suspect she's downstairs, instagramming that video to everyone on her list who might not already have seen it! :-)

We were in the performing arts center. There was a short performance/final for some of the kids taking music classes, as well as a very nice computer show of art work.

Perry was in world drumming this quarter -he loved it- so his class performed, which was pretty cool.

There was the 5/6th grade choir, and the flamenco class (a PE credit, but a few brave volunteers came to grace the Fine Arts department's event) danced, and a few of the various orchestras did short pieces. A nice school event.

There were some people next to me chatting with some people behind me. The conversation got a bit general and a few people who were not involved in the initial conversation joined in. Including me.

There was some confusion as to if R74 had passed, since last they'd checked, the Seattle Times still had it in the "too close to call" column.

Because it's their 19th anniversary in Dec and they'd like to get married then. Or the weekend after.

And I was able to tell them that the opponents had conceded it was going to pass, and that the Seattle Times had called it passed. Even if all the votes won't be counted for a while (we're at 76% now. Even Florida is doing better). One other women confirmed my information.

So they will be able to get married. As one said to the other, "For better, for worse, and you know all the worse by now."

And of the 8 people on that little group, 5 of whom didn't know the others more than by sight, from what I can tell, 7 of us were crying. Dh managed not to, but he took my hand and squeezed it, and smiled.

Gay Marine's Homecoming Kiss Is Lighting Up The Web.




Next up? Let's make sure family benefits are available to the non-military partner.

2 Dads, 2 Daughters, 1 Big Day.

Make me cry, it did.

I wish them much happiness.

This really is what gay marriage is all about: families. Kids or not, by the way. But families.

Another Shakesville link: You're Much Alike."

Congratulations, Sinjoyla Townsend and Angelisa Young.

Marriage equality in DC, and some commentary. I particularly liked this:

Opponents of same-sex marriage—those bigots with the desperate insecurity about their super-special relationships losing the shimmering, golden glow that only denying marriage equality to same-sex couples conveys upon their gloriously gilded unions—are still, yawn, making the argument that same-sex marriages will somehow, magically, undermine opposite-sex marriage. But my opposite-sex marriage does not feel undermined today. My opposite-sex marriage means more to me today, because the institution has become more inclusive—and by each little expansion of its borders does it become ever more about love.

and even more so this:

That isn't about marriage. It's not about being straight or gay, either. It's about feeling such a desperate need to be close to another person(s) that you are certain the two (or more) of you were once torn asunder. It's about love. And that is neither the sole province of unions between one man and one woman, nor a luxury we should ever take for granted. It is a luxury so precious that denying of some people any and every expression of its unique and awesome qualities, treating their love as different, as less, is an affront to the tremendous gift we have been given in our capacity to feel love.

Go read the whole thing.