Stumbling Through Adulthood

-- My spouse is having so much fun playing with his AI programming agents that I have to remind him to quit work. It's almost 7pm. He's been working straight -no lunch break- since 9am and will continue. WhatEVER. 🤪 It's so strange because everyone hates AI and he's having a blast creating minions. He hates what it is doing and is going to do to the industry, and that the job prospects for Linnea are terrible (great time to graduate with a degree in CS, child!), but he's figuring cutting edge stuff out and is enjoying that at least. Oh. It was 7:30 when he finally decided it was done. Now he's reading something, no doubt about AI, on his computer.

-- This recipe. Easy-peasy and really flexible. I did some heavy mods the first time I made it, filling it with almond paste and adding sliced pears on top. The second time, I made it as written, minus the sugar crust on the bottom which I did not feel added to the experience the first time. This weekend I made it with a nutella (and a bit of flour) filling. Results were great all three times. Recipe comes together quickly, doesn't require the mixer, and cooked in exactly 32 minutes, LOL. I expect I will try it with an apple pie filing (homemade), with strawberry jam, with custard and chocolate frosting (dh is a fan of Boston Cream doughnuts) and mebbe if I can swing it with lemon curd. I'd fill it with marmalade but I'm the only one who likes that. Anyhow: Jelly Doughnut Cake.

-- Keeping myself honest: I'm going to post another chapter of my novel over on my other site tomorrow. I'm trying to make some progress with figuring out what to do with it, and how to do whatever I decide I'm going to do.

Not a great day, sigh.

Dh is ok, and that is the most important thing. We just got back from the hospy, where the ct-scan was clear, so yay on that. They did note some nodules on his thyroid so blah on that, he'll have to follow up.

He was making a left out of our neighborhood when he got hit by a car coming straight. Without its lights on. He never saw it, it was dark and rainy. Airbags didn't deploy in either vehicle. I guess dh whacked his head on the door somewhere, he has a rather impressive goose egg. He didn't lose consciousness, he was aware and oriented etc, so as soon as I was able to talk to him (vs his phone call) I felt a lot better that it would be ok.

Perry ran up to the intersection as soon as dh called me and noted that their other car was still running and the lights were off.

The driver came over to me and told me (and our music teacher, who was with us) it was dh's fault and that he'd not even looked just pulled out in front of him. Etc. They got pretty aggressive. One of us -me, Perry, Heidi?- must had mentioned their lights weren't on because they went to turn them on then and lied to the cops later.

Anyhow. Cops. Ambulance. Linnea panic attack.

Hospital.

The worse part? Because the music teacher was here I couldn't get the CRV out, so dh was driving Perry's Prius. He feels pretty horrid about that, on top of everything else. I'd have rather it were the brand new CRV, feh.

1. Ugh. Looks like dh's employer is going to mandate back to work early next year. If we can make the health insurance work, dh may decide to go to consulting. It's something he's talked about a lot, but he absolutely sucks at selling himself so I'm not sure how this is going to work.

2. Rowing continues to be fantastic. I suck, but it still loads of fun!

3. My dad would have been 90 today.

Last weekend was Memorial Day weekend. And because we are idjits, dh and I decided to go on a hike, to the oddly named Lake 22. It's one we've done before at least once (*) and it's beautiful. We knew it was going to be busy. We just did not realize how OMG busy it would be. (*) Dh does not remember us going up pre-kids, but I guess I did when I wrote that post. Now I'm doubting myself. Could it have been another Mountain Loop Highway lake? I'm sure it could have. Alas, since that was the era of film, even if photos were taken -not likely- they don't have geolocation turned on. 😁

Trailhead at 7:30. Main parking was already full, but we managed to snag a spot in the entrance, so more or less legal. Trail up wasn't too crowded, and the weather was nice. Got up to the lake and it was as beautiful as I remembered.

The snow looked to be melted out around most of the lake (there was one small traverse) so we walked all the way around the lake. Views just kept on getting better!

A few photos.

From a bridge at the lake outflow.


Looping around the lake.


Closer up of the mountain above the lake. That is, iirc, Mt Pilchuk or part of it. I'm pretty sure I stupidly climbed it one year. There's a lookout at the top, and the last bit is a bouldering scramble. Yay. I made it up. And then realized I could have to go fucking down, and started to cry.


Lake outflow from the other side. You can just see the bridge that we took the first photo from, LOL. Or not. That might be a different photo.


And after that delightful hike up and trip around the lake, there was the hike down. OMG. There were literally hundreds of people headed up. So many of them completely unprepared, flip flops and all. One group about 1/2 mile (at most) from the trailhead asked if they were "almost there". It was miserable. Just absolutely dreadful. Not that people were nasty or anything, it was just as crowded at Costco on a Saturday afternoon. I'm still, almost a week later, pretty shell shocked by the whole thing.

So today, we decided on a more boring trail, figured we'd hike a few miles up the Middle Fork of the Snoqualmie River. Last time we were in the area they were working on the trail so us and the kids took a right after the bridge. This time we took a left and went on a very quiet 3 mile and a bit hike, near the river, up the ridge, with views here and there, forest trails, a few stream crossings. There were people, but compared to last time, this was as close to solitude as one could get! The weather went south and we were happy to get back when we did!

At the start of the hike: blue skies!


During the hike (dh is high above me). That would be Mt Garfield.


From the bridge on the way back. Not even the worse view of the weather.


So yeah. Both were nice hikes, but man, the solitude, especially this morning on the way out, was so so nice.

1. Poor sweet BamBam had another seizure today, 5 months or so after the last one. By chance, he had a vet appointment scheduled. No obvious causes, he seems to be recovering nicely (he just jumped up to the counter with no issues). They still do not recommend meds. Sigh. Poor boy. And my poor boyo who was there with him when it happened, though I guess he called for dh right away and they sat with the poor kitty. Aside from that, a truly unremarkable vet visit. We declined the blood work since last time it showed nothing but also that his kidney function was still normal, so.

2. I applied online for a passport renewal last Sunday afternoon. I received my new passport today. That's.... pretty incredibly fast. I mean, kudos to the passport folks in Tuscon and it's nice to see that right now that's still something Melon Husk and Little Marco haven't managed to fuck up. I'll add that I am a cis woman who has never changed her name, so no issues there.

3. In typical PNW fashion. Last night was partly clear. I was outside several times during the first phase of the lunar eclipse and while misty, the skies were still clearish. Then about 35 seconds after the start of "totality" the clouds rolled in. I could still see some through the binocs but barely naked eye. Dh got some terrible photos. We have a zoom lens and a wide-angle lens that is good for astrophotography... he insists on using the latter for moon photos even though all the things I've seen online say to use the zoom lens, zoomed in. So yeah. Blah.

I was able to score an extra day off today because I went in last Saturday because we had two gigantic (9 and 8) mouse litters on Friday and there was no way I could deal with all of those in one day. Since leaving them to Monday would mean they would be useless and thus killed for nothing, I swapped days. Yay for my boss agreeing.

So.

Brother and family, sister and her spouse are all here. We're going up to visit my aunt in Vancouver tomorrow.

Dh was supposed to take off from work today. Note the supposed. We were planning a chill day at home mostly because my siblings and I had paperwork to attend to (long story), and then we were all going to go to Uwajimaya. But dh first said "meeting I have to attend" and missed breakfast with us. Came to spend maybe 30 minutes, and then "something I have to finish up". That was 11am. He started with TEALS at 7:15 so has pretty much worked a full day.

The others all went out shopping, I skipped since no room in the car and going out thus made no sense. But I'm really tired of these home-vacation days that aren't. He's really good at this point about not working on weekends unless he's on call, but days he takes off during the week to get stuff done or just hang out? If we are not out of the house, he ends up working.

I dunno. It just makes me feel like shit, and I'm not quite sure I can pinpoint why.

Yeah, not!

But we're both fine, so eh.

We kinda put the Pilot over a berm of snow, down a ditch, and into a tree.

Not. Good. At. All.

But the other side of the road had a berm, a 15 or so foot drop-off, as many trees, and Icicle Creek, so at least we went off the road on the better side?

My poor WHALE.





Here's how it all went down, as far as we remember....

We headed out over Stevens Pass to Leavenworth to go on a snow hike. Headed down FS 7600 ie Icicle Creek Road, the road that takes you to many many wonderful trailheads. The idea was to go and do a snow hike.

The road was pretty good, mostly good snow on top of ice. There were the 3-4 in deep tire ruts in the ice. The Pilot handles like a pussy cat on snow, and dh truly is a good driver. And yet. Right before -I mean, like, 50 ft- from the parking area, there was a patch of sun that may have changed the road conditions, on a downward turn. Dh says -and this jibes with my recollection- that it felt like something grabbed the wheel and the back of the car spun out. I saw him try to correct, but no dice. We weren't going fast as all when we went through the snow berm, down the ditch -about 4 ft, maybe?- and hit a tree on the left side of the car. Airbags did not go off.

Quick assessment: we were both ok. The car? Totaled, I mean, the front left is pretty demolished, driver door hard to open, and the wheel was turned. Note that I did not check what the wheel on the other side of the car and it was deep in snow. Figured the front end was 100% toast and this would not be drivable.

My poor spouse was so upset. I mean, he was driving, but going on the hike was my idea and he wasn't going fast or driving recklessly, some conditions changed, and he didn't have time to react. But he apologized to the poor car, and I love him so much and I hate that he feels awful about this. I mean, I do too... We've had this car since about a month before Linnea was born, and we've put over 400k miles on it, and probably would never have given it up. But anyhow.

A guy showed up before we were even out of the car, to make sure we were ok. We were, and he said he'd contact towing when he got back to cell service.

Oh yeah, did I mention that? No cell service, of course. 🙄

We walked bits of the way down the trail, back and forth. It's not like there was much else we could do. Eventually, a Chelan County deputy sheriff drove up, again made sure we were ok, and used his radio to call a towing company.

We walked more. Because what else was there to do? It was too cold to stand around, and I was not about to get back into a car that still might slide further (dh says it wouldn't, but I do not trust anything to do with snow.)

Back and forth.

Dh got to talking with a guy who lived nearby and was out for a walk. I popped in to listen as I continued to walk to stay warm. I was fine, tbc, as long as I was walking, and I could have gotten my shell pants and jacket if I'd really been cold, but eh, walking felt good and served to dispel some of the nervous energy.

As I was coming back, probably 2 or so hours after the evil event, I saw the flashy lights of a tow truck. As I got closer, I could see the place where the car had been, but they got it out very quickly. As I got closer, I saw... backup lights and the car backing up, on its own power.

This was unexpected.

By the time I got to the car, they were evaluating the left front wheel well. The panel was crunched, the hood a bit messed up, but the left headlight was fine, and the wheel was straight to the eye. They shook it (dh and the two tow truck guys), checked for fluids, pulled away the broken bits of plastic, and... agreed that we should try to drive it.

Which we did. About 120 miles home. That was stressful. Nothing bad happened, but ugh, not knowing if something bad would happen.

There is significant damage, but we'll get into a collision place and have it checked out, something that was not on our radar initially, because, eh, it looked bad. It looked less bad once it was back on a level surface. The steering is off, but it will drive straight with no drift.

I really don't want to buy a new car if I don't have to. Not because of the money, but because I detest screens, and the... obtrusiveness of new cars. No, you can't access my contacts. No, I don't want Android Auto. No, please don't answer my phone. No, I don't want to use a tablet glued to my dash to access a screen three taps deep to change the volume on the stereo, I'd like a fucking knob please. And NO, OMG NO, I don't want a hole cut in my roof in the PNW where it fucking rains all the time! Or a glass roof to have the sun beating down on my head (that situation, the sun hitting the top of my head through glass, has triggered a panic attack before. I made very sure that our skylights were oriented in a way where that would not happen.) So yeah. I'd rather repair if we can. If not, ugh, expect whining when I have to buy a new car.

So yeah.

Home now, showered and warmed up. We drove home with the window cracked so dh could hear any sounds the front end was making, and that was cold, but also, I think, it was just my reaction to stress (and walking for a few hours in the snow).

Not the best start to 2025, though it could have been a lot worse.

This might be more than three things! It's been a while since I've written, and it's been hectic. Mostly good, but hectic. Or maybe I'll keep my work rants for another thread.

1. Christmas. My sister and BIL came up from Bend, bravely bringing my mom. Tuesday, I cooked Christmas Eve dinner, it was delicious and oh, hey, hectic and exhausting, since I was also cooking things for brunch in Vancouver the following day. It came together more or less ok. It's much easier to make these big holiday meals now that dh has taken over all the meat cooking on the smoker, lol. Prime rib this time. We also made two briskets and two double-smoked hams to be frozen for Anne-Chloe and Linnea. Christmas Day, we drove up to Vancouver and had a good visit with my aunt. It was good to see her, she honestly is looking a lot better this fall than she did last summer. Surprisingly, she kept on talking about how she needed to start a walking program again and seemed to be talking much longer term than March, which is when she has her Date set for. Sigh. The people who see her on regular basis tell us she's very excited about MAID and so very positive about it, but I still get worried when she makes long-term plans that are not compatible with two more months of living. The only desperately sad part of the visit is when we had to leave -my mom was done- JoAnn seemed to think she was coming with us. We helped her through it, and made sure the front desk knew she was restless, but it made both me and my sister cry. Also, a shout-out to Linnea, who came with us. She is SO freaking good with my mom and JoAnn. Also positive, talking to them like they are her homies, and they absolutely love it and both light up at any conversation with her. That kid is a gem. Anyhow, got home at about 6, and did our presents. Everyone got stuff they liked and wanted! Linnea got me a 1950s bead necklace that I'd been coveting and Perry and AC got me a Le Creuset bread baking bell or whatever it's called. Not in the color I'd wanted, but I'm SO excited! Since Christmas Eve was hectic and my SIL, MIL, and nephew were there, we didn't do presents then, so we still have to see Anne-Chloe to give her hers.

2. My dumb-ass bitch of a SIL managed to throw a wrench into Christmas Eve preparations, making everything more stressful than it should have been. She decided that her son needed to make a "box" for his girlfriend, and asked dh if he could help. Dh, being an idiot at times, said sure, thinking we'd been talking a small box, and he carefully told her sister about where to get a kit that would help. At 1pm on Christmas Eve my MIL and nephew show up with.... three 12inx1inx8ft pieces of lumber. So dh has to spend the after when he was supposed to be helping prep things essentially making a 4x4 box for his nephew's girlfriend. No, I don't get it either. And that also meant that my MIL, who is negative and annoying, was here all afternoon, getting in the way in the kitchen and wanting to bitch about her neighbors to anyone who would listen. This added a lot of stress, and I'm still angry. I should have known there were going to be problems when dh told his sister that sure, Robert could come a bit early, and he'd help. Tbc, I'm not angry with dh, but with my stupid bitch of a SIL who routinely disposes of other people's time.

3. This is perhaps the truest two sentences on climate action ever written:

Avoiding climate breakdown will require cathedral thinking. We must lay the foundation while we may not know exactly how to build the ceiling. Greta Thunberg

Wow, what a freaking week.

I still haven't written up our camping/hiking trip from last weekend because I've been getting home so freaking exhausted.

I walked in Tuesday morning and found the cell incubator was out of CO2 and my go-to people for help were all out. I did find someone to help me and show me how to do it, never having changed one of those before, and it was a good thing: Raul apparently installs those bottles without the plastic "crush" washer, and I could not budge the connection even with the big wrench. Even if I'd known how to safely change the tank, I was not breaking that bolt loose.

Wednesday, I had to euthanize a poor little mousie, though tbh, she was sick (vet report suggested a "neoplasia") and it was the right thing to do, but I don't like doing it. And the bottom of the 4C fridge was a puddle of water. I mopped it up, but it was a bit nerve wracking because there were three plugged in instruments sitting in said puddle of water. I lived! 🤣

Thursday, I had a litter of 11 pups to deal with and found out that we are missing two of the ingredients needed to make more neuronal growth medium, something I hadn't done before. It was last made in March, so I didn't have anything to do with it and I guess Raul didn't order what we'd need to make it again (usually he's pretty good about this). I tore apart the lab looking for two things, even though my July chemical inventory didn't show them. Sigh. So no media to use the neurons but I had to sac the mice anyhow. UGH. I had a little cry... ok, maybe it was a sobbing fit after I finished this. Of course I was there cleaning instruments, red faced and teary eyed, when two people walked into the lab to tag some equipment. I did have the door closed, but one had keys. I will long be grateful to both of them for not saying anything.

Also on Thursday I came in to find that yet again the bacteria incubator had had a hot spell and cooked my bacteria. We need to replace it, I'm getting tired of having to repeat experiments because of this bs. The dept electrical person is supposed to be installing an external digital temperature controller but it's been three or four months and I'm tired of waiting. I mean, the temp is supposed to be at 37C. I try to keep it at about 34C so there is some room for variability, but still, every few days, I come in to a temp above 42C. Blah. I repeated the experiment but since I didn't need the bacteria shaker overnight, left the plates in there with the shaking OFF. Agar plates don't do well shaken, LOL, as one of the undergrads found out when I was doing my MS.

All this to say that it was an exhausting week. And I'm going into a weekend that will be fun, my nephew and niece arrive today, YAY! Then I work three days and we head out for camping at Crater Lake. That trip all needs to be planned and prepped for... I'm not quite sure when.

Dh has been at trains Thursday and Friday so no help from him, he comes home exhausted after that, and he's at trains today too. Tomorrow we're planning on doing fun stuff in Seattle, though of course the "cloudy" forecast for the weekend turned to "pouring rain". 🙄

I'm both wiped and pre-emptively wiped, LOL. I'm good, but... I'm still wiped.

What the fuck is it with my kids? They are fucking home during the day every single fucking day of the week, and the one fucking day I have to do laundry.... they're both wanting to do theirs. I just added a detergent sheet and started adding water and went to get my clothes and... Perry fucking tossed his in even though I had told them earlier in the day that I needed to get my (and dh's) laundry done today.

God, I'm pissed.

I don't know how we deal with this. I'm still doing the same amount of house cleaning and cooking as I was before. It was fine before, I was at home, it was my fucking job. Now I have another job, and nobody has really stepped up. Dh will, and without being as ass about it, do things if asked but I don't want to be the task leader, ya know?

I tried a list. They never check it to see what needs to get done.

Linnea will -like she did last weekend- clean the whole house periodically and I do certainly appreciate it, but just doing the handwash dishes from time to time and her own water bottles would be a real help.

I really wish getting a house cleaner wasn't such and ridiculously difficult and expensive thing. This is racist, and I'm sorry, but I got so tired of dealing with people who don't speak English.