Three things for Sunday

[nwhiker]

1. Depression is nibbling at me as my world constricts to the house. I have managed to get walks in, by getting up at 6am, walking, and dh goes when I get back, but aside from that, we're mostly house-bound. We can go out separately, and I think we both need to make an effort to get out daily, if only to shop or something. The inability to get out for a hike or an extra-long walk once a week, something we'd managed to do pretty much every weekend since January, is difficult. Days like today don't help: it's an absolutely perfect day: sunny, a bit of breeze, temps in the high 60s. Pretty much my dream day for a hike. I tried to get my mom to at least agree to a drive, but she just wants to stay home and read National Geographics.

2. Weird convo on twitter the other day re transphobia. While I 100% disagree with the dude, and I think he's a hater, he had some logical -to him- reasons rather than 'they gross me out' and is a strong supporter of gay rights (per his timeline, and also a Sanders/Warren supporter, Biden voter). His point was that gays were gays, and he just had to accept it, they didn't need any action on his part to be gay, but that trans folks demanded that he participate in their "delusion", that they could not be "a different gender" unless we catered to their pronouns and accepted their gender presentation as reflecting reality. I, needless to say, don't think much of his arguments, but it was truly a bizarre conversation: I'm used to more knee jerk reactions from MAGAts, misogynists, anti-LGBTQ+ folks, rather than a leftist with reasoned hate. Anyhow, he's blocked, LOL.

3. We did spend a few days in Bend this week. The good: camping! My sister is remodeling, so no real room in her house. Dh and I slept in our tent at a nearby state park. The bad: a lot of stress, both the drive to and from with her and being there, what with trying to get my mom to at least agree to visit the memory care place. No dice, but we were able to persuade her to talk to their evaluation team over Zoom, so at least we have a better idea of the level of care they think she'll need.

Comments

[camelsamba]

We spent time with Matthew's mom this past weekend, at a family wedding in North Carolina, and the memory issues were so glaringly obvious. The brother who lives in Houston, the one she traveled with, had made her a number of cards to read that reminded her what was going on. That was super helpful, at least when she had them.

One caution about an evaluation over Zoom: that's what they did with my Dad before he moved to Missouri (well, a predecessor to Zoom - it was 2019 after all). They determined he would be okay in the independent living facility. The first day he was there, he left and started walking along the freeway because he "needed to go to the jeweler to get his watch repaired." So they did a 180 and immediately moved him to memory care. In my opinion, it might have helped if there had been some sort of transition - he was in a completely new place so of course he was disoriented! My sister felt like the victim of a bait-and-switch. I'm not sure what my point is, other than I wonder how well they can really evaluate over videoconference. Maybe they've gotten better at it (as a profession) in the past 4 years. But be careful.

[nwhiker]

OMG, how scary! Pretty awful, and rather a big mistake.

For my mom, we know she's going into memory care, independent living isn't even an option, the question was really about the level of care (ie the cost, LOL), figuring out how much help she'd need. Like she can, for example, shower herself, but won't do it unless seriously pushed. Blah. But yeah, good things to think about. Thanks for the heads up.

Just so many upsetting things about all of this. I'm sorry your MIL is headed down that path.

What with my mom's mom, my mom, and both my aunts having some level of cognitive impairment... I figure I know what's in my future and it scares the eff out of me.