Same stuff, one day later

[nwhiker]

It's only 9pm, but it's been pretty much a repeat of yesterday, and she shows no sign of planning on going to bed.

I hate myself for being like this. I hate the situation that has turned my mother into a burden, an annoying person. I hate this.

It's going to be a long evening, continuing to repeat that no, nobody pushed my dad out of a window, off a roof, shot him, or beat him to death (the latter is new). What is different from yesterday is that she is getting angry with me for saying that no, he died of lung cancer, and she is challenging me to "prove it".

Sister won't be here until Saturday at best.

ETA: part of my issue: I've been erging before going to bed, and I can't stand it when she's still up, she stares at me at talks at me (I have music on loud) and it really bothers me. So I have to wait until she's gone to bed to even start that. That just makes these evenings even worse.

Comments

[camelsamba]

I was once told to not bother correcting confusions, but what you're dealing with sounds way beyond the scope of that. What I mean is, my dad might ask "when is Jeraldine coming by?" (Jeraldine being his long dead sister) and it would be okay to say "I'm not sure, maybe later today." Not sure that there's even an acceptable non-corrective response for "they pushed him off the roof." Yikes!!

[nwhiker]

That's what my sister said to, to just express sympathy, "I know, it's awful, isn't it?" but when I tried she got more and more worked up and went on and on about how she should have killed "those horrible kids" and how she wishes they were all dead, and other awful things, which then spiraled into her feeling guilty for not having murdered a bunch of people. Correcting her seems at least to "reset" her imaginings, so to speak.

My brother: "Take away the Louise Penney and the Peter May!" 😂

But that's a good point, about some of the smaller/less emotionally charged/less consequential delusions.

Part of the problem is that dh is working 12-14 hour days, as in sits down at his computer at 7 and except for occasional sorties for food, doesn't stop until 8 or 9 at best. A few days have gone to 10+ depending on handoffs to various teams around the world. He's exhausted and I'm trying not to dump all my moms stuff on him at the end of the day, hence the wailing here.