The start of Thanksgiving Week.

[nwhiker]

Email I just sent my siblings and their spouses. Yes, it's just past 3am.

She's not safe to live with us anymore. She was up just a bit ago, turned on the stove, and put an empty kettle on, to try to make coffee. David woke up, the whole house smells like semi-slagged metal, and we just found out there is no way to turn off the gas to the stove or at least not an obvious one. We're lucky she didn't burn the house down or turn on the gas and cause an explosion.

I think she needs to go straight memory care. I mean, it's right before the holidays so we can make this work for another month, but I think she needs placing in January. We'll spend some time tomorrow to set up a Ring camera at the top of the stairs that will wake us up if she comes upstairs during the night (and, sigh, when Perry gets up at 4am). But Sophia, unless you are willing to lock her in her bedroom at night, I don't think she can live with you. Or at least, that's our feeling. Tomorrow, we'll be calling a gas installer to get a valve put in so we can shut off the stove at night. If you decide to have her there, I'd at least prep for that.

Sorry, maybe we'll feel differently in the morning, but I think we were both ready to take her straight down to Mt Bachelor Memory Care 30 minutes ago. It was scary.

It didn't help that she got angry at me for being upset and sending her back to bed with just water. The coffee in the middle of the night thing is terrifying because she tries to make it rather than pouring a cup and nuking it. The electric kettle was right there and had water, but she went for the gas stove instead.

Of course, I had just gotten back to sleep less than an hour before all this, so I may not be the most clear head around.

What was additionally scary was that dh woke up to the smell of empty kettle on the stove (it's still very strong in here). My mother was completely oblivious that there was a problem. And we're both horrified that apparently, there is not a gas shut off at the stove that we could find. Since they're standard on all gas appliances in Tunisia and France, it never occurred to me that there might not be an obvious gas shut off on the stove, like there is on the gas fireplace... we'll check more carefully tomorrow morning.

It was important for my sister to have my mom live with her, she remodeled her house, creating a suite for her, and it was all planned with that in mind. She was emotionally not ready to send my mom to memory care. I mean, none of us relishes the thought, my mother is going to hate it and probably be angry with us for the rest of her life. So I was willing to have her here while the remodel dragged on, doing it for my sister. But this isn't safe. She didn't try to leave the house at least, or anything like that, but the fact that she blithely uses the gas stove scares me.

Our first reaction was to drive her down to Bend tomorrow morning and get her in a home. We'll see if we can make it safer here first, and hopefully get through the holidays.

I went to bed early, at about 10, woke up at 1am and was up until about 2am (last time I looked it was 2:03). Dh woke up to the smell of hot metal at 2:46AM. I fear that might be all the sleep I get tonight, I'm still waaaay too keyed up and waaaay too nauseous to sleep.

Ugh.

ETA this morning. Both my sibs agree it's time. We'll keep her through the holidays and then she will go straight to memory care. These are, in my opinion and everyone agrees, safety triggers that put into question her being able to stay with any of us. UGH. Sucks, it's horrible, but it truly isn't safe to have her here.