Better

I'm starting to see patterns of what I can control and what I can make better.

There is some level of depression I'm just going to have to deal with for a while. It's ongoing and I can't fix it (last time I tried, I gained 50lbs that of course didn't come off. I'd rather live with the depression, thanks, I'm fat enough already).

What I can fix is the anxiety that leads to punctual panic and feeling miserable.

Because once the girls, all pretty and happy, were dropped off at prom, and I was done with the getting ready, the coordinating, the talking with parents, the precise timing, and it was just me and dh at the Ballard Locks watching boats and birds and seals? The sick, miserable, heavy lump of dread was gone, and I was back to a state that I can hold.

Photos later. So cute, my girlie.

Three things for Sunday

1. Linnea and her bestie.... pretending to row. Linnea is a starboard rower, S a port.



2. Ugh on the new CDC mask guidelines. Small kids can't be vaccinated yet, the 11+ set has barely been eligible for a few days, and they're pretty much making masks non-mandatory. Because of the 100% overlap between moron-anti-maskers and moron-anti-vaxxers, these new guidelines are essentially a free for all, bs honor system that the fuckers won't respect. If they just killed themselves, I wouldn't care, fuck 'em, but a) children b) immunocompromised people c) random people whose vaccines didn't take or whose breakthrough cases were more severe than average, and most importantly d) the reality that the more the virus circulates the more likely a nasty VOC is going to crop up. CDC may be correct on the science, I trust that, but they're completely missing the mark on human nature and underestimated the depravity and cravenness of the average Republican. I'm planning on continuing to wear a mask, if only in hopes of helping parents of small children feel a bit more comfortable. Also, we need vaccine passports.

3. In #adulting, I finally seem to have figured out how to straighten my hair using an iron. I was never able to figure out how to blow dry it, it never seemed to work properly, and bit and pieces went all over the place... but after some trial and error and a few minor burns, I have figured out the hot iron. It's probably ruining my hair, but OMG, straight hair is so wonderful and soft and silky and nice.