The inevitable freak-out.

[nwhiker]

Well. Starting to freak out. Because I had a plan, and it's about to be evaluated.

I started back on Weight Watchers the second I heard they'd ditched the horrid FreeStyle, which really didn't work for me. I went back the week before Thanksgiving. I weighted in the Friday after T-Day for the first time, up two pounds. Normally this wouldn't have freaked me out, but over the following three weigh-ins, I was still not back to my starting weight. Three full weeks on program after a re-start is a long time to have no results.

I thought about what to do as I didn't do so well during Christmas. I was un-motivated, and feeling like I was already failing. In other words... the feedback I was getting was hurting, not helping.

So I came up with a plan: I'd stay on the program with diet and my usual exercise (upping my steps, though, since I'd slacked for a while) through February 29th, since I thought it would be cool to weigh-in and evaluate progress on Leap Day.

And that's day after tomorrow.

And I'm pretty sure I haven't lost any weight, beyond the few pounds I dropped when I was visiting my friend in California and didn't eat for 24 hours. My clothes don't feel any looser.

The good thing is I'm back up on steps to usually 11000-12000 a day. I'm trying to build to 15k regularly, and I'll be working on that over the next few months.

But I'm pretty sure my weight isn't budging and I'm terrified of what will happen on Saturday when I weight in having barely lost a few pounds in over two months. I'm terrified of that date.

It's very easy to say to prepare for a disappointment, and to have a plan about what to do if I've failed.... but emotionally, it's still a frightening prospect.

So, blah.

Also, for those with access to the New York Times: The Diet Industrial Complex Got Me, and It Will Never Let Me Go. It hit close to home, for me. It's funny. I do beleive in body positivity, but it's always something that I've felt applied to others. Ah well. Oh. And I commented to that effect on twitter? It's probably my most liked and re-tweeted tweet, and there is a type, a word I meant to delete and didn't.