Sadness.

[nwhiker]

This is like the whole horrid week-long nightmare when my dad died, also of lung cancer.

FIL had another episode of bleeding, he apparently lost O2 for a while. Dh doesn't say so explicitly but I suspect the was significant brain damage from the hypoxia. They've transitioned to comfort care. They'd reduced the paralytic he was on in hopes of being able to allow him to regain consciousness, but he never did, and then the massive bleeding.

My poor spouse. Still all alone down there.

His text to me pretty much broke my heart: "I'll never know of course if he knew I was with him to the end. But I'd like to think so."

I like to think so too. Because I think animals know, and while foreknowledge of death is a human thing, death in itself is not.

I'll write more about my FIL later. Right now I'm just crying and I need to go pick up Linnea in a few short minutes.