An upsetting incident

[nwhiker]

Following some medical stuff a few years back, one of my calves is a lot bigger than the other. It's become more noticeable as I've lost weight.

I've been wearing leggings a lot.

Yesterday, as I got off the bus, a woman called to me, "Excuse me? Excuse me?" I stupidly stopped and said "Yes?"

She demanded to know, loudly, in the middle of a crowd of bus passengers, what was the matter with my leg. Pointing at it.

I told her it was none of her business and walked away.

She followed me, continuing to point and demand to know, the tone in her voice implying that a) I was stupid and didn't know there was something wrong with my leg and b) that she had a right to know. I kept on repeating "None of your business" and "Stop harassing me" but she followed and followed.

And of course, dh was late, so I had to stop walking away from her and wait for him. She tried one last time and I repeated "None of your business" and she finally went away.

That's when I started to cry. I feel like a deformed monster, and yes, I should probably wear clothes that aren't as fitted, but my god, people, mind your own fucking business. I don't remember seeing her before on the bus, so I hope she isn't a regular. If she does it again, I'll go all racist Karen (she's Asian) on her, call 911, and start filming her.

I don't think I'll ever be thin enough to not have people assume my body is public property to be commented on.

I wore leggings again today. My first impulse was to grab some old baggy yoga pants, but I decided against it. Still, I feel like shit. And self-conscious in a way I wasn't yesterday. And fat. And ugly. And all that.