Ugh. Roommate problems

[nwhiker]

Linnea is having roommate problems.

Ugh.

From Linnea's description, the blame is pretty equally divided, but since roommate has a bf, she's feeling the issues a lot less than Linnea is.

She just has to get through this week (deadweek) and she can spend most of finals week at home, then go back up to school for spring break (reality of life with rowers. Spring is sprints racing, they train hard over break). I suggested, since she and her roommate aren't currently speaking very efficiently, that they make a point of setting a date and time to talk before next quarter, so during break, and that Linnea talk to a counselor.

Comments

[camelsamba]

I hope she's able to address it! For someone as social as Linnea, it's probably a big stressor. I had freshman year roommate troubles and both of our approach was to ignore it... not helpful or healthy in the long run!

[nwhiker]

Roommate problems are just awful. I mean, 18 years old or not, these are proto-adults, and it's the end of quarter when stress is running high anyhow.

And yes, it's a big stressor for her. I know I gently suggested at the start of the year that she cultivate friends other than roommate and dorm friends, but she didn't, she had a good group. She was never 100% integrated into their social life -the group was two other girls, roommate, roommate's bf, and Linnea- because Linnea has to be in bed by 8:30PM every night, but she still felt part of the group, and all but one putting 100% of the blame of the current issues on her is making her even more unhappy.

Again, I know Linnea. I know she can use the silent treatment as a weapon, and it sucks to be the recipient of that. However, she's also a reasonably good communicator AND she's quick to acknowledge her mistakes, which she did in the texts she sent her roommate. Roommate was not, however (*), and from what I can tell, group pressure meant Linnea had to accept 100% of the blame, apologize to everyone in the group and the group chat has made it clear -I got this second hand, didn't see those texts- that she's out of their group at her next "mistake".

(*) It all started when roommate spent the night with her boyfriend (common occurrence) after telling Linnea she'd be back (not common occurrence, usually roommate follows through on what she's said she'd do, per Linnea). They've had that policy of communicating comings and goings because hey, college campus. Linnea griped at her for that, and later that day, roommate and bf and rest of group all went to dinner without her because she asked them to wait 15 minutes for her to finish an assignment. All sounds pretty bland and mundane to me, but the high drama that has ensued...