So many lasts....

So many sad lasts.

We're waiting on the vet, she should be here in an hour or so.

My baby slept between dh and me last night, her favourite spot.

She's in Perry's lap right now, he and Linnea are petting her.

I love my children.

I am going to miss my sweet Chloé.

I'm going to have a little black cat shaped hole in my heart.

Oh ha on us!

Linnea described it best "You mean that Chloé isn't going to die today?"

The vet we like had a family crisis. She couldn't make it today and the one who was replacing her is either a vet I don't know or a vet I HATE. So we rescheduled for tomorrow.

I owe Dr Hanna a big thank you. She normally wouldn't be working tomorrow, but was willing to come over for this. I hope the tech, Rachel, can be there too.

I feel stupidly glad. I've gotten through the lasts, and it's ok. Now the extra 24 hours feels like bonus time, a bit of a gift.

Plus, eh, not my anniversary, which is always nice.

She isn't in pain, or suffering so I don't feel bad about being happy. That said, if she were in pain, I'd take the other vet etc.

Damn, I love that cat.

What I wrote elesewhere: I can't explain, but I don't have the same dread looking at tomorrow today as I did yesterday looking at today.