That saying

[nwhiker]

Behind every great man, they say, there is a great woman.

That is probably true. Because most of us can't do it alone.

But who is behind great women?

Kamala Harris gave us some clues last night. Her lovely husband. Her mother, her sister, her niece, her kids, her friends. The neighbor who helped raise her, her college sorority. The people who love her, the people she loves. The people who give her advice and support.

I believe we would find a whole community behind women who succeed.

Would we find that community behind men?

Well, it depends. But not on if it exists or not. On if we look.

That community is there because men do not succeed alone any more than women do. Their wife, their kids, their parents lessons and love, their brother who taught them to change a flat, their sister who helped with math, the teachers that believed in them, the college professor that gave them a break on a critical exam, the boss/mentor, the...

They are there for men, like they are for women. (*)

But women acknowledge their helpers. Society acknowledges their helpers.

Men acknowledge one or two, their wife, maybe a mentor, but leave the rest in the shadows, because that is what society expects of them. They're expected to be strong leaders without any nurturing or help, like Athena springing fully formed from her father's head.

Women are shown becoming. Men are shown to be.

Society currently values be over becoming. I hope that is changing, I hope it is, because that individualistic "be" permeates all levels of society, and encourages those who are to see less worth in those who are not yet. It values those who can present as not needing any scaffolding over those who do.

I hope that as we see more women acknowledge the support structure that got them where they were, that it becomes the norm. I think we'll all be better off for it.

(*) Men get more support than woman. It's just not acknowledged or viewed in the same way. Tha

Comments

[camelsamba]

I've left this window open on my computer for weeks now because I've been trying to find the right way to say: this is quite deep and profound. It needs to be shared widely. I agree that we would all be better off if we recognized and acknowledged that everyone is standing on scaffolding.