Stumbling Through Adulthood

This might be more than three things! It's been a while since I've written, and it's been hectic. Mostly good, but hectic. Or maybe I'll keep my work rants for another thread.

1. Christmas. My sister and BIL came up from Bend, bravely bringing my mom. Tuesday, I cooked Christmas Eve dinner, it was delicious and oh, hey, hectic and exhausting, since I was also cooking things for brunch in Vancouver the following day. It came together more or less ok. It's much easier to make these big holiday meals now that dh has taken over all the meat cooking on the smoker, lol. Prime rib this time. We also made two briskets and two double-smoked hams to be frozen for Anne-Chloe and Linnea. Christmas Day, we drove up to Vancouver and had a good visit with my aunt. It was good to see her, she honestly is looking a lot better this fall than she did last summer. Surprisingly, she kept on talking about how she needed to start a walking program again and seemed to be talking much longer term than March, which is when she has her Date set for. Sigh. The people who see her on regular basis tell us she's very excited about MAID and so very positive about it, but I still get worried when she makes long-term plans that are not compatible with two more months of living. The only desperately sad part of the visit is when we had to leave -my mom was done- JoAnn seemed to think she was coming with us. We helped her through it, and made sure the front desk knew she was restless, but it made both me and my sister cry. Also, a shout-out to Linnea, who came with us. She is SO freaking good with my mom and JoAnn. Also positive, talking to them like they are her homies, and they absolutely love it and both light up at any conversation with her. That kid is a gem. Anyhow, got home at about 6, and did our presents. Everyone got stuff they liked and wanted! Linnea got me a 1950s bead necklace that I'd been coveting and Perry and AC got me a Le Creuset bread baking bell or whatever it's called. Not in the color I'd wanted, but I'm SO excited! Since Christmas Eve was hectic and my SIL, MIL, and nephew were there, we didn't do presents then, so we still have to see Anne-Chloe to give her hers.

2. My dumb-ass bitch of a SIL managed to throw a wrench into Christmas Eve preparations, making everything more stressful than it should have been. She decided that her son needed to make a "box" for his girlfriend, and asked dh if he could help. Dh, being an idiot at times, said sure, thinking we'd been talking a small box, and he carefully told her sister about where to get a kit that would help. At 1pm on Christmas Eve my MIL and nephew show up with.... three 12inx1inx8ft pieces of lumber. So dh has to spend the after when he was supposed to be helping prep things essentially making a 4x4 box for his nephew's girlfriend. No, I don't get it either. And that also meant that my MIL, who is negative and annoying, was here all afternoon, getting in the way in the kitchen and wanting to bitch about her neighbors to anyone who would listen. This added a lot of stress, and I'm still angry. I should have known there were going to be problems when dh told his sister that sure, Robert could come a bit early, and he'd help. Tbc, I'm not angry with dh, but with my stupid bitch of a SIL who routinely disposes of other people's time.

3. This is perhaps the truest two sentences on climate action ever written:

Avoiding climate breakdown will require cathedral thinking. We must lay the foundation while we may not know exactly how to build the ceiling. Greta Thunberg

Yesterday I made an icebox cake for dessert for the fam today.

But Nabisco discontinued (sob!) their wonderful chocolate wafer cookies. Probably because few people bought them: they were hidden on the top shelf and waaay too expensive.

So. I bought the mega pack of Oreos from Costco and started making Double Stuff Oreos (blech) and saving the plain chocolate cookies.

I am going to mail Nabisco to ask if we can get just plain Oreo cookies with none of the filling, for a decent price. Call them Zero-Os. Or 00s? Double Os, ala James Bond?

Had a fantastic trip, and a very lucky one with regards to weather.

We had a perfect clear day for the eclipse in Conway, AR.

We were the last plane out of MSY yesterday morning before pretty bad storms with flooding etc came through.

I'll consider the very bumpy plane ride payment.

Perry picked us up at SeaTac and I was able to get a half day of work in. Updates when I can.

Oh. Perry's coach feeds them dinner most nights (Perry coaches, Matt makes dinner for that session) and I think Perry lived off of that and instant pudding while we were gone. The kid is a very decent cook, but mostly doesn't bother with routine feeding of himself.

Happy 2024! Let it be a good, fun one, with good election outcomes and democracy intact at the end!

Three things for a start to the year:

-- I gained 11 lbs over the holidays. FML. About 1lb/day. Sigh. But hopefully back on track. I tried. There was just too much food in the house. I don't think it was the meals or the desserts, but just the overwhelming amount of snacks all over the place.

-- I did 2024m on the erg this morning. I'm not going to make a habit of it, but eh, I'm glad I did it. I've got sore shoulders from yesterday, but not a sore lower body, so that does tell me I do need to get my act together to do some upper body work this year!

-- Perry just got exposed to Covid. Sigh. But yesterday he and I made beignets for dessert. They worked out pretty well, if I do say so myself. Won't be an 'often' but it's nice to have that as an accomplishment. We had muffuletta and jambalaya for dinner, so this kept it NOLA themed!

1. I finished _The House of Doors_ and it's... incredible. Highly recommend, and preferably in audiobook. OMG. I may actually buy the Kindle book just to reread bits and pieces.

2. Squirrel has been eating the suet at a rate of a cake every two days. This cannot last, LOL, so the first attempt at keeping them away from that feeder has been initiated. "The game is on!" says dh.



In other birdie news, we had a pileated woodpecker show up at the feeders today, as well as a hummingbird I could not immediately ID. Usually, we see rufous and Anna's. I hope he or she comes back so I can get an ID.

3. Linnea's bf is coming for Thanksgiving, which is great. The one dish he apparently likes? Green bean casserole. Umm.... OK. I've never made it before, but I guess there is a first time for everything. Yes, I'll make it from scratch, I have zip intent of starting with canned soup, LOL.

1. OMG, this is interesting. Last night, at 12:37AM according to Perry's sleep tracking app, the cats threw a hissy fit, literally, some kitty yelling (Perry and David say 'shrieking'.) My ring camera, at 12:37AM, shows.... a big kitteh nonchalantly walking by.

2. I guess I'm doing Thanksgiving and Christmas here this year. Dh's aunt will come up for TDay, which will be fun, and my aunt says she'll come down for Christmas, and my sister and BIL will be here too. I'll start planning in a week or so, because I love having everything in hand, it helps with any potential anxiety.

3. I should have kept track of the number of banana bread loaves I've made since my mom came to live with us, LOL. About two every ten days or so....

What I sent my family this moring:


I think this is the proper declination... but sic vicit gloria matris… thus passes the glory of the mother, who used to be the sticky bun baker. Perry's are better than mine.


He made the dough, I decided when it was proofed enough, made the rolls, put them the fridge to finish proofing overnight, and then baked 'em this morning, but his dough is seriously and objectively great, pillowy and delicious.

We have, of course, saved some for him, but he's rowing and coaching this morning and won't get them until this afternoon.



We made a mocha cake for her birthday: cake, ganache filling, buttercream. As usual, I made the components, dh turned them into something that looks like it's worth eating.

1. Linnea's boyfriend is a darling. Really like him.

2. Been meaning to make Welsh Cakes since we got back from Europe but never got around to it, plus, eh, lard, which, just no. So I made this recipe with some modifications for breakfast this morning. My sister and BIL were in town before heading out on an Alaska cruise, and there was Isaac, so a good number of people to try it out on, LOL. Delish.

3. My weight, OTOH. Up several pounds this morning, and tomorrow is going to be worse, since I didn't pay attention to what I was eating today.

1. Rowing banquet last night in B'ham. It wasn't horrid at those things go. Saw several other parents who were on the TN trip and they all took the time to tell us how absolutely wonderful Perry was, and how much they'd enjoyed talking to him etc. That was so awesome to hear. I mean, I think he's a great kid, but it's always so nice when others notice too.

2. It's been... rough having my mom here. At first, she was sleeping a bit more, now she's up by 10am (or earlier) and I have to nag her to get to bed by 11 or 11:30. Since dh and I get up at 6am, we've been wiped! What we've been doing for walking is that the alarm goes off at 6am, and I basically go pee, brush my teeth, and throw on clothes. I'm at the trailhead by 6:20, back usually by 7:20 and that gives dh time to go on his walk, he's slower than I am in the morning. So it's been working, though I miss our morning walks together. But my mom did like the time she spent at the Senior Center so when we get back from Bend, hopefully that'll be a twice a week routine. It's in the middle of the day, so it doesn't solve our morning walk issue, but hopefully it'll tire her out enough to get her to go to bed a bit earlier. I really need the bit of evening downtime, I think dh does too, this is just emotionally exhausting for both of us. Also, even though she annoys me at time, my MIL is awesome good people.

3. I made a cake today and I'm bitterly disappointed in it: John Kanell's Butter Cake. It looks gorgeous. It tastes sweet and flat. Why, you ask? Because unsalted butter, which he says to use, is of the devil. I added all the salt called for, plus a bit more and it just was not enough. So it's overly sweet and not very interesting. If I make it again -and I might, because form factor and crumb are great- I'll use salted butter and add the salt.

4. OK, fine, four things! We're headed to Bend tomorrow for a few days, the idea was to get my mom assessed at the Memory Care place. Not sure it's a good idea, but eh, hopefully we'll talk more tomorrow evening. I think my mom is still too aware of us and our relationships to make this a good transition, but I also don't think she could quite manage with just assisted living, she needs more "prompting" and reminders. But anyhow. Since sister is in the middle of a remodel, dh and I got a campground nearby. We'll probably spend most of the day at my sister's, but we'll get to sleep in a tent. Since, what with my mom, that's probably not going to happen again any time soon, I'm SO looking forward this!

💜 Attachment and loss of everyday things. Amazon tells me I bought this set of earbuds cases back in 2017. We each had one, mine was of course purple. I've used it since then to hold my Skullcandy wired earphones. My purple-no-longer-available earphones, sob. I lost case and earphones last week, I'm guessing at IKEA which is the last time I definitely remember having them. I'm surprisingly sad. I mean, I have a set of nice Bose overear headphones, but I've travelled many miles with my wired ones, rebuying the same ones as needed. The case itself went to Europe a few times, Canada several, cross country etc. Ah well. Dh still has his case in a computer bag, since he doesn't really use wired earbuds at all, and I'll probably steal it unless I decide to spend $9 to get 5 small cases when I only need one. I can still find wired earbuds but they are getting harder and harder to locate, can't find them in purple at all, and the new models all have a mic, which I don't like. In part because I hate the different feel on each side of my face, in part because Google Assistant seems to un-disable itself more often when it senses a mic. Ah well. Anyhow. I'll miss my pretty purple case!


💚 So we did my aunt's 80th birthday party in Vancouver this weekend. It was both fun and utterly exhausting. I baked three gigantic lemon cakes (of which we consumed 1.75, so I'm glad I had three). David did a beautiful job with the decorating! My aunt was so happy, and it was so nice to see a few of her friends that I've known for a long time again. Best part of course was hanging out with my siblings! And my kids all made it up, which absolutely thrilled my aunt. We of course had too much food, much of which is now in my fridge and freezer, sigh. I wanted to drop most of it off in Bellingham with the kids, but we had a two hour wait at the border (longest wait I've had in over a decade) so we just wanted to get back. I'll bring them frozen stuff later.


💙 My mom is... well, aside from the dementia, she tripped in the kitchen the night before they came and caught herself on the edge of the counter. She didn't complain, brother noted that the wrist was swollen the next morning, and we debated if they should come, but since the swelling went down with icing and that she was using the hand a bit gingerly but normally, it was decided (we all agreed) to come and deal with it here if needed. Which we did the next day, when she woke up with swelling and serious bruising. She's on blood thinners, so some is always expected but this was, to my eye blood settling. Like it did after AC broke her arm. And her foot. And Linnea her foot. Sure enough, displaced fracture of the distal ulna, sigh. My sister went with her to Urgent Care and told them clearly that she would remove anything they put her in. My mother is notorious for taking out IVs, taking out her O2 canula, removing bandages too early, once removing stitches before they dissolved etc, so this isn't a new thing, and my sister was insistent. So instead of a plain "sugar tong" splint, they decided to use a "cast" that hardens. LOL, it was off the next morning, sigh. Basically they put us in the worse of both worlds situation: not a hard plaster cast, not a removable one, but a temporary that is supposed to be "difficult" to remove. We used a wrist brace and the splint to immobilize as best we could. Anyhow, she'll need surgery. A word about my mother and pain: she broke her arm as a little girl, went a week without telling anyone. While pregnant with her first child, who died shortly after birth, she needed a root canal. It was done without anesthesia, because they were afraid of the effects on the baby. When I was 7 or 8, she cut her hand on a broken glass in the sink. I could see the fucking BONE. She put a bandaid on it. We should know by now that her pain cues are not great and the dementia has just made that worse. She's seeing a surgeon today; we'll see what happens. Update: surgeon says it's not displaced, she's getting a molded removable cast. Fingers crossed it heals well.

🤬 I gained 7lbs over the weekend. FML. I don't understand how that can be the case, but there it is. That's about a month worth of <1000 calorie days erased in three days. And while I did eat more than normal, it wasn't outrageous. Sigh. Makes me want to cry. Back on track since yesterday (well, Monday, but I did have cheese and crackers for dinner on Monday.) And everyone always says "Oh, it'll come right off" but that isn't how it's ever worked for me. Those massive gains that people always claim are temporary because they came on fast etc because of an event never are for me.

🤮 I've been taking vitamins for the past month. I ended up getting the gummi ones from Target and while I didn't love them, they were ok. I was told that the Vitafusion from Costco were "great" by a few people. I bought a bottle and ew. I don't expect my vitamins to taste like candy, but ew. I'll go back to artificially colored and flavored asap. Of course I didn't open them until this morning because if I'd tasted them yesterday, I'd have given the bottle to my sister, it's what she takes.

📱 My phone is usually a symphony of light blue and darker blue. I made some changes for spring, LOL.



😥 📘 I'm so sad and angry at myself about my poor little novel. I just cannot find a title and without a title, I'm dead in the water. I can't send out queries or do anything to attempt to get my silly story published without one. I did a full re-read, trying to get some new ideas, but nothing came to mind. I've asked my sister and she has no ideas. And apparently -gulp- my BIL read it too. OMG, it's full of sex, excuse me while I hide. But even he liked it. No title suggestions, though. Sob. I've gone so far as to try title generators on the internet. I really think ChatGPT is going to be my next step.