Kitten. Next weekend. OMG.

Dh and I will be hauling our asses down to Northern California to pick up kittens next weekend. I'm SO freaking excited!

Still figuring out how we are going to break the trip up into the time we have, while minimising trauma on the kitties.

I'm horrified that we're taking them away from their mama and their current human, ya know?

But OMG, so excited!

Poor BamBam. Doesn't have a clue as to what is about to hit him!

I need to get teeny collars. I need to dust off the carriers! I need to buy another Cat Genie!

Oh. And I have a whole bunch of homework too!

EEEEK!

We'll miss you, Anni.

Friday morning, I was woken up by the sirens of aid vehicles. They sounded close, but I was tired, and just assumed they were on the bigger road one street over. But then, when it came time to leave, Linnea came back in, saying there were garbage trucks on the road, and she was afraid to talk by them, and I told her, nope, dunno, but it's recycling was yesterday and it should be fine.

She came back inside a few moments later, in a panic. There were police, ambulance, and a firetruck next to the neighbour's house. She'd seen a whole bunch of people in blue.

That created, for all of a grab-your-stomch with anxiety, which lasted for a long time that day.

I told Linnea she didn't have to take the bus to school, that I'd take her in later, even though it was pretty clear that the vehicles were blocking the road and she'd probably be late.

So we waited for things to clear up. We briefly considered going over, but it doesn't ever seem like there is a good time to insert oneself in a crisis, so we waited.

There were two possibilities, once horrible, the other one worse. By then, I think, most of us understood that there was no good outcome coming from this.

This was confirmed when we drove out, dh taking the olders, me Linnea, as saw the vehicle with a sign that said "Chaplain" in the window. I did explain to Linnea that it meant that someone had died. We didn't know who it was. I offered to let her stay home from school, but she wanted to go, and said I needed to let her know as soon as I found out anything.

I took her to school, and stopped by the office to tell them that she might be distracted or need to come home early, or who knows? And when I tried to talked, I started to cry. The women I was talking to, who turned out to be one of the counselors, had me in her office with Kleenex and a shut down in less than 10 second flat, and was able to get most of the story from me. She was kind.

When I got home... there lots of cars, and a medical examiner's car. I parked down the road at the library, since I couldn't get through, and walked home, crying, my legs shaking. No matter what had happened, it was a life changing even for one or both of two teens I've known since they were barely out of diapers (if indeed they were...)

AC got the news through the reliable "kidnet" later. Anni, the mom, had died. She was sick, I don't know with what illness, but, as we found out later, this was entirely unexpected, and came as a shock to everyone.

It's been rough. I really liked Anni. She was fun, and loud, and loved her kids and was just all around one of those people who clearly enjoys life, even as she dealt with some limitation. She was an awesome mom to her three kids, and proud of her new grandkid. She was a fierce advocate for her son, and she will be missed. The good thing is that the kids' dad is pretty great himself, and has always been involved in stuff, and they have a good support network. I suspect, and I hope, that we'll be part of it. The kids in the cul de sac have truly grown up together, and they will all feel this loss as well.

Of mine, Linnea had the hardest time, but of course, being Linnea, was able to express the feeling of vast emptiness that Anni's death meant, the feeling that nothing would ever be quite right again, that her friends' lives were irrevocably altered.

One last thing. You know that feeling of joy you get watching someone who is truly competent at something do that thing? Watching as someone dips chocolates and each comes out glossy, with a perfect swirl on top, as a piece of wood fits snugly in its spot? Anni drove a large pick up, and every summer would haul a large camper behind to all sorts of places around the Pacific Northwest. When she came back, each time, she would back that trailer into its spot in the driveway, up a hill, around a curve, down the driveway, in very tight difficult conditions. It was always such fun watching her do that, confident and accurate.