nwhiker: (Cottage Lake)
First the most important news: re-MRI today showed the epidural abscess about 1mm smaller (they didn't have the full radiology report, just that bit), which is good, though probably close to margin of error, ya know? Anyhow, pending review of the scan by the attending, the neurosurgeons feel we can... wait and re-scan in two weeks. Which is fine, since antibiotics working really are the best case scenario!

She's dropped her biology class, which will set her back a quarter for getting into the "competitive major" she wants, but it's a lab class and she's better of focusing on just one lab class, the chemistry one, which is part of a series, and would REALLY set her back if she had to drop that. We don't really monitor her grades, but we won't make a fuss no matter what she gets this quarter (as long as the chem grade is enough to get her into the next chem class!)

I just hope we can get full tuition back for the bio class. I hope, since the records of hospital etc are all there.

This weekend was busy busy busy. It was the State meet, and held over in Eastern Washington, in Wenatchee. We already knew we'd drive AC there, since she was supposed to get out of her bio class at 3:30 and needed to be in Wenatchee, 3 hours away, in about 3 hours, and the highway she'd have to take is... iffy at best. But because of the antibiotics, we decided to just go spend the weekend there ourselves... Only dh had the Dem district caucuses. Problem. I found the solution: dh, and Linnea, took the train back on Sunday morning, so he could be at the caucuses, and Perry and I would come home that evening with AC after she was done.

There is not much to do in Wenatchee, and what with getting out the hospital on Wed, we didn't have bikes ready, so we really had few plans of what to do. So I checked the distance, and the tour times, and Perry and I headed out to the Grand Coulee Dam. We'd driven by once before, but after visitor center hours. This time we got to check out the visitor center, and go on the tour, which was pretty cool, to be honest. They drove us out onto the top of the dam, something I'd done plenty of times on other dams in the pre Sept 11 era, but Perry had never.

Learned some interesting stuff, and since I'm SO totally a civil engineering monument geek, I was thrilled to be there!

Cut for photos... )

Anyhow, it was a nice day trip. Perry is a cool kid to be around.
nwhiker: (Cottage Lake)
I don't think it's just AC's gym, because I see enough "gymnast doing a handstand in some weird place" photos from other gyms/locations, but whenever we go some place with sand or snow, etc, and AC is in a good mood, she'll have someone take a few photos of, usually, her doing a handstand.

I did NOT appreciate the ones she wanted us to take on a beach on the Oregon Coast when she was about 5 minutes post ACL surgery. Heh.

Anyhow, taken yesterday, by dh. The handstand one isn't great because of his timing, she had better form before and after. What was funny, when she got into the split? She moved to dry sand, checked it's slippery-ness and dropped into a split. I mean, I can do a split still, but I need to be warmed up and I move carefully. No swooping to the ground.

I love the ring. That's the position she wants to get a tattoo of, btw. Dh is freaking out about that, he is not fond of body art... Not a moral objection (as in, he doesn't think people who get tats are prison escapees or tramps, or anything), it just profoundly squicks him out. Which I get, because most piercings don't bother me but ear gauges make me nauseated.

Anyhow. A few photos taken Sept 7 at Deception Pass State Park.





nwhiker: (Default)
Announcing a new blog! AC's ACL: A Gymnast's Journey Back from a Torn ACL. It'll be her, me, maybe dh. I have a post up, so does she.

ETA: leaving this post sticky at the top for a while.
nwhiker: (Default)
She's as beautiful as she always is on meet mornings, with the... different look of hair tightly pulled back into a pony tail.

But today, she's pale and nervous, poor sweet.

She'd use to go off to meets with a happy unconcerned attitude, today, not so much.

It's her first meet back.

It won't be stellar, she's still not 100% back. Heck, it's probably going to be mess.

She's stressed. Very very stressed. She needs two minimum all-around scores to be able to compete at State. In previous years? Piece of cake? This year? Her season was short, so she has three meets to make those two scores, which of course Freaks. Her. Out.

Because she might not.

And she desperately wants to go to State. Last year, she could have expected to place. This year, she just wants to get there.

But! I am SO freaking proud of her. SO SO proud of her getting through the pain of the injury, the fucking surgery, rehab, the months of not know how much she could do, re-learning to fly through the air with an enourmous brace on her knee, for getting to the point where she can even compete.

It's not a great photo, since she wasn't really in the mood for photos before she left.

IMGP8730

I'm nervous. Dh is nervous. She is nervous. I SO hope it goes well.

I wanted to go. We'd have to bring Perry and Linnea and she said that having us there would stress her out. So I'm home. And stressing.

And so so proud.
nwhiker: (Default)
The eldest child won a handstand contest at gym today.

Me: "Did they (meaning the PT) say you could do handstands?"

Child, eyes shining with a mirthful GOTCHA! look: "They didn't say I couldn't!"
nwhiker: (Default)
Will probably be cross-posted to the AC's ACL.

1. She's doing pretty damn good. No pain in the actual knee, but some in the rest of her body from having to compensate.

2. She persuaded the PT to allow her to go on a backpacking trip. Oh, she won't be carrying her gear, and it isn't a long hike in, but still. She'll be leading the trip, a middle school climbing trip, and I do SO hope they're well aware of her limitations. But the PT ok'ed it, and I'll bow to that, since the PT who did? Is pretty hard-assed about stuff like that. The PT's conditions were 1/2 mile walk in boots at the local wildland park, and while it wasn't at that park, AC pretty much blew that out of the water yesterday at Nisqually with a 3 mile walk.

3. Insomnia. The child is having a hard time sleeping. I don't think she's ever been this not-tired, to be honest. She's so used to regular, sustained activity, and now she's dealing with waking up in the middle of the night, and being unable to get back to sleep. I may have to take away the iTouch, even though it is her alarm: once she wakes up, she starts to play games, and that doesn't help her get back to sleep.

4. Normal people and crutches: normal people use crutches to help them get around while one limb is out of commission. My daughter? Was caught using the crutches to support her weight, while she was starting to get into a pike... Hard to describe, but she was planning on her body being at a 90deg angle, her legs up in the air, while supporting all her weight on the crutches/her arms. When asked WTF she was doing, she responded that she was "maintaining" her press-to-handstand fitness. Yeah, no.

5. Normal people also don't attempt to jog in place with no brace on, months before the physical therapy schedule allows that. At this point, she is, iirc, cleared to jog in the water, not a dry land. She said it didn't hurt. I was not impressed.

So there. She's recovering, and it's going to get harder and harder to hold her back. We've had some ups and downs, with some small bouts of depression, but she feels... confident right now, and I hope things continue to progress.

I love that kid so much, and I'm SO proud of her!

SHIT.

8 Mar 2012 20:15
nwhiker: (Default)
Dh is taking AC to the hospital. She twisted her knee really badly, last minute at gym.

Poor crying baby. AC does not cry. I could hear her sobbing over the phone.

And I'm here, not there with my poor little girl.

She'd been doing so well.... it was looking like she might place at State, in two events.

I guess not.

That kid just can't seem to catch a break.

Sick to my stomach here. My poor baby.
nwhiker: (Default)
The child tested positive for freaking Influenza B, and she wants to go to gym this afternoon?

Let me think... No.
nwhiker: (Default)
The child tested positive for freaking Influenza B, and she wants to go to gym this afternoon?

Let me think... No.
nwhiker: (Default)
So I volunteered at a meet at AC's gym today. Yesterday State, today, this.

A few observations?

The woman who asked if she could go in to make sure it was the correct session before paying and then didn't come back? I wasn't too happy... but then she stopped to pay on her way out. Thank you.

The woman with 7 kids, one of them a gymnast who doesn't pay, who complained that there was no 'family admission' price? Too bad, lady. And I gave you a break on two of the younger ones, even though technically I should have made them pay. Do you really expect the world to cut you a major break because you chose to breed 7 kids?

To the gym parents -two dads- who were signed up for the heavy duty lifting at the end of the day, and who cancelled by crossing their names out on Friday evening, so the meet coordinator, who was at State with us, didn't find out until this morning? You suck. It was a lot of heavy work, and for a while my spouse was the only guy there. One guy who was doing something else volunteered to stay, thank goodness, because some of those jobs? Really do need very strong people. I mean, I'm strong, so are two of the other women who were there, but balance beans? Weigh a fucking ton. My knees and back hurt, and I'm not a knees and back hurting kind of person.


To the other parents of the optional gymnasts, and the gymnasts themselves, who all asked about AC, and were concerned about her, and felt bad because of how her season ended? Thank you. My daughter is lucky to be part of your community.
nwhiker: (Default)
So I volunteered at a meet at AC's gym today. Yesterday State, today, this.

A few observations?

The woman who asked if she could go in to make sure it was the correct session before paying and then didn't come back? I wasn't too happy... but then she stopped to pay on her way out. Thank you.

The woman with 7 kids, one of them a gymnast who doesn't pay, who complained that there was no 'family admission' price? Too bad, lady. And I gave you a break on two of the younger ones, even though technically I should have made them pay. Do you really expect the world to cut you a major break because you chose to breed 7 kids?

To the gym parents -two dads- who were signed up for the heavy duty lifting at the end of the day, and who cancelled by crossing their names out on Friday evening, so the meet coordinator, who was at State with us, didn't find out until this morning? You suck. It was a lot of heavy work, and for a while my spouse was the only guy there. One guy who was doing something else volunteered to stay, thank goodness, because some of those jobs? Really do need very strong people. I mean, I'm strong, so are two of the other women who were there, but balance beans? Weigh a fucking ton. My knees and back hurt, and I'm not a knees and back hurting kind of person.


To the other parents of the optional gymnasts, and the gymnasts themselves, who all asked about AC, and were concerned about her, and felt bad because of how her season ended? Thank you. My daughter is lucky to be part of your community.
nwhiker: (Default)
AC is still very sick. Her fever is above what I consider ok to let work, so we've been pushing Motrin and Tylenol, and it's not coming down much. She's coughing and miserable.

Plan is to take her in tomorrow to get a flu test. If it is positive, I'll push for preventative Tamiflu for Perry. He's leaving for France in a bit over a week. Cannot have him get sick now.

We're all washing hands etc, but still. The good thing is that D, the next door kid, had the flu last week, when AC was hanging out with her (now I know why she had to go over there and D wasn't allowed outside. Sigh...). Anyhow, nobody else in her family caught it. Also, half of Perry's class was out earlier this month, and he didn't get sick then either. Fingers crossed.

In an hour or so, I have to go to the gym for volunteer work. I'll be there until 8 or 9 tonight. I'm leaving the kids alone, I think AC is ok enough to call 911 in case of total emergency, and I told Perry and Linnea they could sit in front of the TV all day, with either video games or on demand from Netflix. Fingers crossed there too...

Was surfing jobs on craigslist. One looked... ok. Part time, a meager $10/hour, no benefits, labware maintenance, basic chem prep (I can do all that), as well as assisting in experiments. OK, this is pretty much what I'd want to do, wet lab stuff. Then the killer. You also have to be the janitor. WTF? They really know they have people fucked, don't they? Anyhow, I won't be applying.

It's rather like the ad I saw a few weeks back, for a lab tech position.

EDUCATION & EXPERIENCE
1. Bachelors in Chemistry, Physics, Engineering.
2. Educational and/or laboratory experience in surface chemistry, micro-fabrication, nanotechnology, genomics, biochemistry, and/or molecular biology.

It's a temp position, and you have to be available to work the hours they decide, 8 hours shifts, some of them ending at 8 p.m. There will be "extended hours", whatever that ends up meaning.

All this for.... $8.50/hour.

Nice, eh? And btw, $8.50/hour is less than my state's minimum wage, so the ad was edited a few days later to offer the much more generous $8.67/hour that the state mandates, and the job description changed from lab "tech" to lab "intern". Nice. But yeah, rock, meet hard place.

I Can Haz Cheezburger and failblog (no, I'm not giving links) used to be on my daily reads, and I was a very early visitor, having been a fan of what were called lolcats before Cheezburger. So, daily read. And then I found an ad on craigslist from them, which prompted this post of mine, Disappointed. Now? I despise them and don't read any longer, though I'll click it someone sends me a link. They are funny, and I don't prevent the kids from going there, but my contempt for Ben Huh and the whole outfit knows no bounds. They found a way to make zillions off of other people's creativity -good for them- but then advertise from a skilled position at minimum wage. That, to me, turns them into scum. Share the wealth, folks! You can say a lot of nasty things about Microsoft and Bill Gates, but he did do right by his employees, as did Jeff Bezos, and a few others.

Thinking about Japan makes me want to cry. And I'm very afraid that we're rather lost sight of the tsunami devastation because of the nuclear issues. Sigh. I don't like the way the trend is going, and btw? Seems like Japanese corporations are filled with same kind of lying asses as our own.

I had a couple links to share, but I appear to have lost them. Sigh.

About AC's beam routine yesterday. I don't think I've ever been as proud of her as after she got back on that damn beam after her third fall.

This week, I think I'm going to start posting some original fic of mine. Don't know how I'll divy it up, or if I'll post a bit each day or what. I'll figure it out.

And now off to the gym. It'll be ok. I must keep telling myself that.
nwhiker: (Default)
AC is still very sick. Her fever is above what I consider ok to let work, so we've been pushing Motrin and Tylenol, and it's not coming down much. She's coughing and miserable.

Plan is to take her in tomorrow to get a flu test. If it is positive, I'll push for preventative Tamiflu for Perry. He's leaving for France in a bit over a week. Cannot have him get sick now.

We're all washing hands etc, but still. The good thing is that D, the next door kid, had the flu last week, when AC was hanging out with her (now I know why she had to go over there and D wasn't allowed outside. Sigh...). Anyhow, nobody else in her family caught it. Also, half of Perry's class was out earlier this month, and he didn't get sick then either. Fingers crossed.

In an hour or so, I have to go to the gym for volunteer work. I'll be there until 8 or 9 tonight. I'm leaving the kids alone, I think AC is ok enough to call 911 in case of total emergency, and I told Perry and Linnea they could sit in front of the TV all day, with either video games or on demand from Netflix. Fingers crossed there too...

Was surfing jobs on craigslist. One looked... ok. Part time, a meager $10/hour, no benefits, labware maintenance, basic chem prep (I can do all that), as well as assisting in experiments. OK, this is pretty much what I'd want to do, wet lab stuff. Then the killer. You also have to be the janitor. WTF? They really know they have people fucked, don't they? Anyhow, I won't be applying.

It's rather like the ad I saw a few weeks back, for a lab tech position.

EDUCATION & EXPERIENCE
1. Bachelors in Chemistry, Physics, Engineering.
2. Educational and/or laboratory experience in surface chemistry, micro-fabrication, nanotechnology, genomics, biochemistry, and/or molecular biology.

It's a temp position, and you have to be available to work the hours they decide, 8 hours shifts, some of them ending at 8 p.m. There will be "extended hours", whatever that ends up meaning.

All this for.... $8.50/hour.

Nice, eh? And btw, $8.50/hour is less than my state's minimum wage, so the ad was edited a few days later to offer the much more generous $8.67/hour that the state mandates, and the job description changed from lab "tech" to lab "intern". Nice. But yeah, rock, meet hard place.

I Can Haz Cheezburger and failblog (no, I'm not giving links) used to be on my daily reads, and I was a very early visitor, having been a fan of what were called lolcats before Cheezburger. So, daily read. And then I found an ad on craigslist from them, which prompted this post of mine, Disappointed. Now? I despise them and don't read any longer, though I'll click it someone sends me a link. They are funny, and I don't prevent the kids from going there, but my contempt for Ben Huh and the whole outfit knows no bounds. They found a way to make zillions off of other people's creativity -good for them- but then advertise from a skilled position at minimum wage. That, to me, turns them into scum. Share the wealth, folks! You can say a lot of nasty things about Microsoft and Bill Gates, but he did do right by his employees, as did Jeff Bezos, and a few others.

Thinking about Japan makes me want to cry. And I'm very afraid that we're rather lost sight of the tsunami devastation because of the nuclear issues. Sigh. I don't like the way the trend is going, and btw? Seems like Japanese corporations are filled with same kind of lying asses as our own.

I had a couple links to share, but I appear to have lost them. Sigh.

About AC's beam routine yesterday. I don't think I've ever been as proud of her as after she got back on that damn beam after her third fall.

This week, I think I'm going to start posting some original fic of mine. Don't know how I'll divy it up, or if I'll post a bit each day or what. I'll figure it out.

And now off to the gym. It'll be ok. I must keep telling myself that.
nwhiker: (Default)
So. She was sneezing with a runny nose earlier in the week, but as the week went on, things seemed to get better, and nothing was settling in. Since dh and I were also both sneezy and snuffly, we called it allergies and hoped that she'd be good to go for State, which was this morning.

Um. No.

Yesterday, she emailed me from school that she was sick. Picked her up, and sure 'nuff. Headache, slight fever, snotty. Not good. She went to gym anyhow -this is AC, remember? She went to workout hours before I took her to the ER for freaking appendicitis-, but we knew she'd only be there for a few hours, since we were leaving for Silverdale, over on the Peninsula, that evening.

Picked her up, fed her a light dinner, got in the car. She wasn't feeling well, and fell asleep right away. She had a slight fever.

Got to our hotel at about 9:30, she went straight to bed. And woke up pretty much every half hour all night. So, as a result, did I.

She couldn't fall back asleep at 4 a.m., so I suggested she shower then hoping that would help with the cough and congestion.

Yeah, congestion. Bad stuff for AC, since when she's congested, her balance goes. And that is not a good thing for a gymnast, to say the least.

We had to get up at 6. She'd managed a bit more sleep, but was feverish and just icky. Ate a light breakfast, and it was off to the meet.

Poor baby was so pale. I felt so bad for her. Between appendicitis at the beginning of her season, and this, it's been a rough time. And she'd been doing so well.

We'd considered giving her a decongestant of some sort, but she's never, to best of my recollection, had one before, and since they tend to make me jumpy, it didn't feel safe, if that makes sense.

So there we were, with a sick kid, at State. Poor coach. I think she was hoping AC would place on beam or floor.

Bars were their usual mediocre self.

Beam was a bloodbath. Beam has been a good event for her this year. She'd been scoring consistently in the low 9s, placed a few times, and had not fallen a single time. She made up for it this morning, falling three times. The third time, her coach went over to her, and they talked for a few seconds (she has a full 60 to get back on to finish the routine). To her credit, she got back on and finished, with a very nice front tuck. Her score was abysmal, but she finished.

She pulled it together on floor, scoring a nice 8.8. They started medalling at 5th place with an 8.9, so that was a good score for that meet/event. She did really well, and looked good. No step outs, her ring leap was beautiful.

Vault was ok. By then she was starting to wilt visibly.

So there. State 2011. She should have done better, could have done better, but when she woke up this morning, we weren't even sure she'd be able to go to the meet. 3 Motrin helped a lot.

She's a strong kid, that one.

She slept all the way home, opening a eye once to notice we were on the ferry. We had her sleeping bag with us, and she cuddled underneath it, she was cold. Her throat hurts, and she's coughing. Poor baby. We're home now, she's bundled up, under covers, attempting to do her homework. She's supposed to flash at a meet at 8 a.m. tomorrow. I'm guessing I'll be doing it, but she still thinks she will.
nwhiker: (Default)
So. She was sneezing with a runny nose earlier in the week, but as the week went on, things seemed to get better, and nothing was settling in. Since dh and I were also both sneezy and snuffly, we called it allergies and hoped that she'd be good to go for State, which was this morning.

Um. No.

Yesterday, she emailed me from school that she was sick. Picked her up, and sure 'nuff. Headache, slight fever, snotty. Not good. She went to gym anyhow -this is AC, remember? She went to workout hours before I took her to the ER for freaking appendicitis-, but we knew she'd only be there for a few hours, since we were leaving for Silverdale, over on the Peninsula, that evening.

Picked her up, fed her a light dinner, got in the car. She wasn't feeling well, and fell asleep right away. She had a slight fever.

Got to our hotel at about 9:30, she went straight to bed. And woke up pretty much every half hour all night. So, as a result, did I.

She couldn't fall back asleep at 4 a.m., so I suggested she shower then hoping that would help with the cough and congestion.

Yeah, congestion. Bad stuff for AC, since when she's congested, her balance goes. And that is not a good thing for a gymnast, to say the least.

We had to get up at 6. She'd managed a bit more sleep, but was feverish and just icky. Ate a light breakfast, and it was off to the meet.

Poor baby was so pale. I felt so bad for her. Between appendicitis at the beginning of her season, and this, it's been a rough time. And she'd been doing so well.

We'd considered giving her a decongestant of some sort, but she's never, to best of my recollection, had one before, and since they tend to make me jumpy, it didn't feel safe, if that makes sense.

So there we were, with a sick kid, at State. Poor coach. I think she was hoping AC would place on beam or floor.

Bars were their usual mediocre self.

Beam was a bloodbath. Beam has been a good event for her this year. She'd been scoring consistently in the low 9s, placed a few times, and had not fallen a single time. She made up for it this morning, falling three times. The third time, her coach went over to her, and they talked for a few seconds (she has a full 60 to get back on to finish the routine). To her credit, she got back on and finished, with a very nice front tuck. Her score was abysmal, but she finished.

She pulled it together on floor, scoring a nice 8.8. They started medalling at 5th place with an 8.9, so that was a good score for that meet/event. She did really well, and looked good. No step outs, her ring leap was beautiful.

Vault was ok. By then she was starting to wilt visibly.

So there. State 2011. She should have done better, could have done better, but when she woke up this morning, we weren't even sure she'd be able to go to the meet. 3 Motrin helped a lot.

She's a strong kid, that one.

She slept all the way home, opening a eye once to notice we were on the ferry. We had her sleeping bag with us, and she cuddled underneath it, she was cold. Her throat hurts, and she's coughing. Poor baby. We're home now, she's bundled up, under covers, attempting to do her homework. She's supposed to flash at a meet at 8 a.m. tomorrow. I'm guessing I'll be doing it, but she still thinks she will.
nwhiker: (Default)
Heh. Dh got a series of photos from the last gym meet, and this series came out pretty well. I'm putting it under a cut because it's going to be pretty image intense (five photos).

AC's back walkover on beam )
nwhiker: (Default)
Heh. Dh got a series of photos from the last gym meet, and this series came out pretty well. I'm putting it under a cut because it's going to be pretty image intense (five photos).

AC's back walkover on beam )
nwhiker: (Default)
Depending on how soon the child can get back on her two feet... it's going to be a looooooooooooooooong few weeks.

She's in a foul mood, to say the least. She's got testing at school today (ERBs, whatever those are), and she was supposed to go to bed early last night. She went downstairs early enough, but I don't know if she got to sleep or what, because she was sobbing and screaming this morning. Alternately. And at the same time.

Poor kid.

She doesn't want to go to gym this evening, but I'm going to drop her off for a few hours anyhow. She can do some stretching, which will be good, since using crutches is throwing her body out of whack, she can do some core strength training (and upper body), and more importantly, she can hang out for a little bit with her friends. I think that will help immensely.
nwhiker: (Default)
Depending on how soon the child can get back on her two feet... it's going to be a looooooooooooooooong few weeks.

She's in a foul mood, to say the least. She's got testing at school today (ERBs, whatever those are), and she was supposed to go to bed early last night. She went downstairs early enough, but I don't know if she got to sleep or what, because she was sobbing and screaming this morning. Alternately. And at the same time.

Poor kid.

She doesn't want to go to gym this evening, but I'm going to drop her off for a few hours anyhow. She can do some stretching, which will be good, since using crutches is throwing her body out of whack, she can do some core strength training (and upper body), and more importantly, she can hang out for a little bit with her friends. I think that will help immensely.
nwhiker: (Default)
I suck.

So yesterday's post read:


AC's gym schedule is perfectly in synch with vacations and days off: if she's off from school, she has a meet. Shoot.

Which means no mid-winter break (I'd hoped to get out of town or something), and no visiting my sister in Bend when she comes back in March. I didn't even want to look at spring break, it would probably just make me cry.

Feh.


At her meet today, about half way through her floor routine, she landed a side leap off enough to fall, and couldn't get back up. Bad. Sick, I was feeling.

The coaches got her off the mat, she was crying. Remember, this is the kid who ran around the gym several times on a broken foot, so crying was not a good sign. They got it elevated and iced, dh and an other dad had to carry her to the car and we headed to the ER.

The ER was full of kids with injuries, soccer mainly.

It took forever, but she finally got seen. She was crying, poor kid. Not just in pain, but because she'd been doing real well up to the fall, and because without her, her team had no chance of placing.

X-Ray shows no break, unless it's on the growth plate, but he thinks it's a sprain from her description of the pain. It's in a splint now, and my friend M is going to loan us some crutches (thanks M!), I have to go over to her place to get 'em. We're to wait a week, if it's starting to feel better, it's probably not a fracture, so treat as a sprain and she should be good for the rest of the season. If not, re-evaluate Friday/Monday.

Looks like we might be able to head out somewhere for break after all. I'd much rather be stuck here.

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